"Kali is a Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. The name Kali means "black", but has by folk etymology come to mean "force of time (kala)". Despite her negative connotations, she is today considered the goddess of time and change.
Her eyes are described as red with intoxication and in absolute rage, her hair is shown disheveled, small fangs sometimes protrude out of her mouth and her tongue is lolling. She is often shown naked or just wearing a skirt made of human arms and a garland of human heads. She is also accompanied by serpents and a jackal while standing on a seemingly dead Shiva, usually right foot forward to symbolize the more popular Dakshinamarga or right-handed path." From Wikipedia.
Here's one of my favorite drawings from last semester: Self Portrait as Kali. I was continuing with the idea of my identity. I wanted to start portraying aspects I would like to see in myself.
This is based off of the Hindu goddess Kali (with no disrespect of course). I really admire her symbol as a creature of time and change. I admire her strength, and its something I would like to resonate in my own life.
Without, ya know... beheading people. lol.
I've been contemplating and mulling over my own identity, how it has changed for good or bad, where it will continue to change... It's not something I normally do, as my normal mantra for life is to simply live it, not mull over its meaning. As I'm facing a major turning point in my life, though, I find myself continually thinking on where I want to go, who I want to become, and what I want to accomplish with my life... this only life I get.
I've also been struggling with what being an artist means to me as well, how it fits into my personality and identity... More on that another time.
On a side note, my boyfriend told me one of the most romantic things I had ever heard a few weeks ago. I was really upset over the possibility of being suspended from school for the rest of the year (which luckily did not happen) and I was sobbing as we were leaving the restaurant we were at. Keep in mind, school, and my art classes, mean the WORLD to me... not being able to be in school would literally make me feel completely incompetent.
So I was freaking out and worrying too much (like I do) and went on this snowball rant that involved me feeling insecure with Lu, and he said in response, looking me in the eyes, as I stood there blubbering like an idiot, "Beleek, I love you... I love All of you." It was so simple and to the point and I'm not sure why... I don't know if I had ever believed anyone else that had said more romantic things or not... but he said it so honestly and so frankly and it just made my heart swell. I am so lucky to have him.
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
“You change your life by changing your heart.”
Many good changes are in store for me... I'm really looking forward to it. :)
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